confuse-ed

i'm sitting here staring at finn, and while he sleeps, i think, "you look like a doll. i mean a literal doll. not like a cute darling, or something. i mean wait, you are cute, but what i'm saying is, that you don't appear real. even when you are awake sometimes you don't seem real. you look like you belong on a shelf, or on a gerber baby commercial."

now i know he's real, but he's most likely NOT mine. i mean, yes, he looks like eric, and like me, sort of. but honestly, how on EARTH is it possible that he was inside me almost 4 months ago. like, how does this happen. how can it be that i created him. and what's freaking me out even more is that i'm going to continue molding him.


and i'm finding this to be far too much responsibility. it's scaring the crap out of me. i think i just soiled my underwear.

i also find it perplexing that most of the time i look at him and don't see a baby. i see a like-minded individual. you know, like my equal. and then at some point during the day, i realize. he's only 4 months old. i wipe his butt. he doesn't even think of me when i'm not in front of him. bah! you've fooled me again with your coy smiles into thinking you were a poet laureate.

and finally, a pic from easter with his gift, honey the bunny. ps. eric put him in that outfit. he does look like an easter egg. it's laugh out loud funny. i have a feeling he'll pay us back for these outfits someday. but, in reality his dad has the same shirt, so... it's coolio. :)