one week. a million discoveries.

i can't get over how exhausting, illuminating, core changing and wonderful this week has been. there are so many revelations e and i have come to this week and i find that we've made a new step in our relationship that's brought us ten times closer. i worried before finn came that life with a baby might change us in a way that i didn't expect or want. instead we are closer and more patient with each other than we have ever been before. we are better, happier and are working as a team. what an amazing difference a little stinker can have on two people.

here are few of the delights, frustrations, revelations and things i couldn't live without over the last week. memories that i hope to never forget from the haze of time and exhaustion of the next few months.

• the poop loop. finding happiness in all things poop and pee. and realizing his spazzing was constipation related, not stubborness. well, most of the time.
• twice daily pee showers. sometimes he has a look on his face that says, "ahahaha. got you."
• pouts. smiles. and big eyes viewing the world.
• goodnight moon and putting eric to sleep instead of finn.
• dashing good looks. yeah... i might be his mom, but he's pretty cute. and this is how eric and i mix?
• late night convos between eric and finn about girls and the "finer" things in life according to dad.
  
• chubby cheek munching.
• crying that ends with squeaks or sounds like laughing.
• becoming a member of mom-spit club.
  
• the agonizing guilt of unsuccessful breastfeeding and finding ways to feed him without going crazy. thank god for lactation consultants! the medela freestyle. best repeat purchase ever.
• eric. i couldn't last a minute without him. especially for feeding. he's an angle man.
• grandparents. for their constant support and delicious food.
• jes. for the unmentionables and a blue robe that i may never take off.
• katie. and experiencing the start of a crazy two days with her.
• suzy. for roast beef. yum yum.
• karolyn. for tips on calming crying babies.
  
• cuddles. naps today with the whole family. first night insistence on co-sleeping. some time soon we'll try the pack n play again.
• frannie. for loving finn as her own. from attempts to clean his circumcision, to protecting him from strangers, to offering us her nursing tips. she's been a dream. my frannie. why did we ever doubt her?
• gratefulness for both laboring and a c-section. and learning that birth plans are a little silly when your boy is too big for you.
• discovering who you are. who your husband and your boy are and why you're meant to be all in just a few short days.
• learning to go with the flow and let go. i'm getting there... i'm getting there.

here's to next week... i can't wait to see what happens next. and hopefully i'll have more postings....